Tag Archives: Washington DC

Nazis At the National Press Club!

NaziNPressClub

 

NPI TO HOLD WHITE SUPREMACIST EVENT ON FRIDAY FEBRUARY 27, 2015, 6PM-9PM AT THE NATIONAL PRESS CLUB

 

Back in 2011, we reported on a white supremacist event at the National Press club held by Richard Spencer of the National Policy Institute.
From that event we were able to obtain and upload the strategy handout from the event called “Why the GOP Must Win White America”

NPI is a white supremacist group who tries to mask themselves as wonky policy group. Simple searches on Google on the group, Richard Spencer and his speaker line up (Jared Taylor, Peter Brimlow and Paul Gottfried) will bring up a plethora of articles and information on exactly who and what they are.

We find their using the National Press Club as a venue disturbing and it makes us wonder if the National Press Club knows who NPI really is.

The Press Club needs to know that Nazis are using their space as a venue!

NOTE: WHEN CONTACTING THE PRESS CLUB YOU WILL BE POLITE AND PROFESSIONAL!

The National Press Club

529 14th St. NW, 13th Floor

Washington, DC 20045
202-662-7500

We want to make the Press Club aware, do not say or infer anything that will be rude or threatening!

STOP NPI! 

 

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Filed under extremism, Nazis, Politics, racism

UnMasking the March

photo copy

We have written up quite a bit on Anonymous in the past, but not so much as of late because the Internet hive-mind has been on a bit of a hiatus (aside from DOXing the KKK and some murderous cops). This hasn’t stopped others, however, from co-copting the name and images of the internet hacker group to use for their own propaganda and political agendas. You remember Jamie Jo Corne from years back— well, there is a new co-opter in town and she is like a Sarah Palin of activism.

Christine Ann Sands

Christine Ann Sands

Recently, there was a march in Washington DC called the “Million Mask March” which was promoted as an “Anonymous” event. But how “Anonymous” was it? The woman behind the event is Christine Ann Sands, who gives out her info as:
Screen shot 2014-11-15 at 5.01.35 PM
We encountered Ms. Sands (or WhateverTheFuckHerNameis) while covering the crazy right-wing tea party event “Operation American Spring” (another clusterfuck of lunacy). She was trailing behind their meager march and homed in on any press like a heat seeking missile. Seriously, the most dangerous place in Washington is between Christine and a camera. We didn’t pay her any mind as we found her incredibly annoying and self-absorbed. We did a bit of research on her claims of activist fame and chose to ignore her– it’s the most effective technique to deal with people who thrive off unwarranted self importance.

Although Wonkette did give her some less than complimentary face time, she vanished into obscurity until she popped up when amateur leftist media sources were paying attention to the Million Mask March event in November of this year.

Digging into who this person is, she is obviously not really an Internet hacktivist at all– she is merely someone who has done several strange jobs in the past.

Oh how Mavericky!

Oh how Mavericky!

Her “internet activism” consists of trying to register as many URLs for other protest movements, like the OccupyDC protest, so she’s a glorified domain squatter.
http://polymathpoet.com
http://www.millionmaskmarch.com/
http://greatamericanrevolt.org/
http://anonomobile.com/
http://occupydc2014.org/
http://dcsheriff.org/
http://mondaymarches.org/
http://christysands.com/

We located a very interesting and pretty well researched pastebin on Ms Sands (or is it Mrs. Wahab?)

There are many accusations that this woman is a fed– and we are not ruling that out– but we are not going there yet

She does appear to be pretty well funded without any visible means of support ( she has a fancy painted up bus!) and even though her lunacy could very well be a ruse, she is apparently so flakey one would question if even the FBI would stoop to employ somebody this unhinged. She posted this long rant on her FB page:

Is there enough crazy here?

Is there enough crazy here?

Is she trying so hard to play a role that she is overdoing it? On the other hand… damn, this woman has some serious issues with reality.

Why is Russian Government TV involved?

Why is Kremlin TV involved?

Digging further, we also noticed that the Kremlin-funded Russia Today was also promoting this event. We are not the only ones who noticed this, as right wing blogger right wing blogger Kevin Tracy points out. Unfortunately, Tracy’s article is not accurate. He fails to expose who is really behind this event, claiming it was put together by actual Anonymous hackivists when it was not. He also fails to mention when Russia Today violated campaign finance laws to give the similarly unhinged Adam Kokesh airtime to use to raise money for the Ron Paul campaign.
Getting back to Ms Sands, she herself has been the doyenne of Russian government media quite few times.
Like Adam Kokesh, besides trying to co-opt Anonymous and the Occupy Movement (as both have tried to do) both were also involved with the right wing racist Ron Paul.

Christine has some opposition as well. The fellows we found who have the biggest beef with her are a chap named John Fairhurst and his comrades from Anti-Media who claim to be the original organizers of the march. We would feel a bit better about the march if they weren’t also Ron Paul supporters, but they are, in fact Fairhurst even asks Paul to come as speak at the Million Mask March on facebook thread.

Other Million March Organizers show an unsettling connection to rightwing/racist Ron Paul

Other Million March Organizers show an unsettling connection to rightwing/racist Ron Paul

There has been a long simmering movement coming from the third-position right wing to try to co-opt and manipulate leftist movements. Ms. Sands is part of that third position/Ron Paul/ pro-military revolutionary crowd who is trying to mislead disenchanted leftists into supporting something nefariously masked that they would normally be opposed to.

Screen shot 2014-11-15 at 1.57.58 PM

We also speculate that she is connected to Charles Kacprowicz– he of the extreme right-wing pro-military extremist movement Operation American Spring. She has promoted information of his event on her facebook page.

Screen shot 2014-11-15 at 2.02.40 PM

A word of caution for all leftists and anti-fascist activists: just because something looks revolutionary, it does not mean their goals are your goals. Ms. Sand is a right-winger and a conspiracy quack; she is tied in with pro-militia groups, Ron Paul and the right wing racist Russian government’s propaganda machine. The parallels between her and Adam Kokesh are almost identical.

A word for leftist amateur media- do your homework! Don’t be an unwitting propaganda tool!

Supporting this kind of façade is political suicide.

More links:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024964016#post4

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Congressman Paul Broun Hires White Nationalist Pro-Secessionist as Summer Intern.

Update: Our colleague Spelunker has more information about Marshall Rawson and is continually updating his page. Head there for more analysis.

League of the South pro-white ethno-state secessionist Marshall Rawson at an anti-gay rally in Richmond.

League of the South pro-white ethno-state secessionist Marshall Rawson at an anti-gay rally in Richmond.

The more we dig into the League of the South, the more dirt we come up with. Hot on the heels of Michael Peroutka’s antics with the League of the South, here’s another wanna-be politico who has strong ties with this group.

A recurring figure in our coverage of the League of the South is this man, Marshall Rawson.

Marshall Rawson with known white nationalist and League of the South leader Michael Cushman.

Marshall Rawson with known white nationalist and League of the South leader Michael Cushman.

Marshall Rawson is a member of the League of the South, an extremist, White Nationalist secessionist group out of Alabama. We have written about the League of the South before. Rawson routinely advocates mass vandalism and the defacement of public and private property in the form of a “Secede” stickering campaign, in order to spread their secessionist propaganda.

Rawson talking about his internship in Broun's office

Rawson talking about his internship in Broun’s office

To this end, Rawson apparently landed a job as a summer internship on Capitol Hill (despite not knowing the difference between the words “Capital” and “Capitol”) with controversial Georgia representative Paul Broun, who was labeled one of the most corrupt Congressmen by CREW. Broun and Rawson apparently share a compatible set of values– Broun, of course, is no stranger to secessionist rhetoric: “If ObamaCare passes, that free insurance card that’s in people’s pockets is gonna be as worthless as a Confederate dollar after the War Between The States — the Great War of Yankee Aggression.”

As far as Rawson, well, a picture says a thousand words.

Rawson bragging about using his internship position at the Capitol (notice he spells it "Capital") to have access to deface Federal property.

Rawson bragging about using his internship position at the Capitol (notice he spells it “Capital”) to have access to deface Federal property.

Here is Rawson sharing a pro-secession sticker with League of the South founding member Thomas Woods.
RawsonAndThomasWoods copy

Here is Rawson holding an anti-immigrant, pro-white flyer for an upcoming event.

RawsonRacist copy
Why does Paul Broun have a member of a known white supremacist hate group as an intern? We believe it’s linked to Marshall’s involvement in the Shorter University chapter of Young Americans for Liberty.

Marshall Rawson with Broun's wife Nikki at Ron Paul funded Young Americans for Liberty event.

Marshall Rawson with Broun’s wife Nikki at Ron Paul funded Young Americans for Liberty event.

A curious strategy, targeting members of congress who have expressed views that– to some– appear only as insincere dog whistles for specific demographics, but are instead grooming local representatives to be more receptive to extremist ideology.

Either Paul Broun does not bother with background checks, or he doesn’t care that his interns and staffers may be supporters of a second American Civil War.

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Filed under extremism, Nazis, Politics, Race, racism

Jamie CRACKED Corne and Her 4-H Revolution Project

A big thanks to our friends over at the Chronicle.su for informing the public on the latest activities and declining sanity of the wannabe alternative media manipulator Jamie Jo Corne.

A few years ago they wrote an excellent article about her sordid past, we then  tagged teamed with them and wrote up on her attempts to use Anonymous to promote her racist populist ideals.

Altogether, this sent crazy Jamie Jo Corne packing and evicted from Anonymous and the Occupy movement.

She then flipped and showed her true colors as a birther-Islamophobe-Tea bagger  on various political forums under the alias “Twisted Gypsy”.

CrazyCorne

Simple forum posting isn’t enough for a narcissist– Jamie had to impose herself again into a new movement and she seems to have found a home with a small fringe group of  populist patriot truckers. She has PLANS and a CAPS LOCK KEY and she’s NOT AFRAID TO USE THEM!

We found this recent post on her dismal Presstorm Facebook page and it looks like her crazy has hit a whole new level:

CrazyCorneplans

Livestock in the streets of DC? Really? And then GMO seeds… and then more livestock? Oh, and there will be horses to deliver her “articles of associations”, and then more livestock and seeds! And burning things, she wants to build bonfires of Social Security cards and US currency right on Penn Ave. In the mist of all this she wants to host a BBQ and a “potluck.” At least we know what will happen to the livestock…

If she doesn’t get her temper tantrum “demands”  she is going to stamp her feet and pound her fists and MAGICALLY all the ports in the US are going to close and truckers will block all major arteries of the beltway (what again? LOL!) and then there will be MORE livestock and seeds flooding the streets and her horsemen will bring in the APOCALYPSE from her GREAT WRATH!

One has to wonder why these recent vanguardist attention whores of late like as Jamie Jo Corne and Adam Kokesh have been inflicting themselves on the public. If you observe them, both Corne and Kokesh use very similar rhetoric.  Both want to instigate people into committing grossly illegal activity in Washington DC and right into the hands of the FBI– who has their headquarters is smack-dab in the center of their planned antics. The knee jerk reaction explanation would be that we are looking at paid provocateurs, and this is quite possible and should not be discounted.  Another explanation is that we are witnessing a growing problem of mental illness in our country that is obviously not being addressed properly aside from throwing dodgy drugs at those in need of mental healthcare. Corne and Kokesh suffer from mental  illnesses and it appears to be approaching a dangerous level for them both.

Another element in this picture is the contemporary conspiracy drug culture which fosters idiotic and paranoid perceptions of reality within a small and loud fringe population, of which Kokesh and most likely Corne are a part of.

Whatever the explanation for this lunacy of self appointed violent, self absorbed “revolutionaries,” most of us can agree they are a bad joke. We can all hope that nobody will get harmed should they attempt to take their dreams of glory to the level of going postal.

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Filed under "tea Party", extremism, Tea Parties, Uncategorized

Right Wing Truckers And The Militia Movement To Terrorize DC For 3 days

HOW DOES I PROTAST GUVERNMINT

HOW DOES I PROTAST GUVERNMINT

Are we ready for yet another vague, half-baked protest against a bunch of nebulous concepts? I know I am! In fact, this protest is so nebulous and ineffective that even if everyone who claims to be attending actually does show up, you won’t even know it’s there. Fantastic. This one’s the rightfully oft-maligned Trucker protest that’s supposed to happen between October 11 and October 13. It should be patently ridiculous to all sentient life-forms, but the premise for this event is that a bunch of truckers are going to clog the Washington DC Beltway and then… do something. Honestly, we don’t know– their aims seem to change almost every hour– first, it was to demand the impeachment of Obama “for Benghazi”, then it was to demand Obama’s impeachment for unspecified “high crimes and misdemeanors,” then it was to demand the arrest of Obama, then it was to demand the impeachment of everyone in congress, and now (10/8) it’s to demand the arrest of elected officials who have “violated their oath of office.”

It doesn’t end there, though. Because this event is being organized (and we use that term in the loosest possible manner) by professional idiots, it’s drawn in the militia movement. Take a look at this screenshot from their Facebook group. Please note the antics of one Rich Miller, who’s from Erie, PA: “Are they picking up the militia yet ? Got about 20 souls and double that in arms.”

Hey, can you give me a ride to the undemocratic overthrow of the government by right-wing death squads?

Hey, can you give me a ride to the undemocratic overthrow of the government by right-wing death squads?

Not only does he think this is a TSHTF wet-dream, he wants the truckers to PICK HIM AND HIS BUDDIES UP. “Hey man, I want to overthrow the government and start up some right-wing death squads, but I DONT HAVE A RIDE!” It’s still anybody’s bet as to whether Rich Miller is yet another government provocateur or he really believes this bilge, but this entire event really did spawn from the patriot / militia scene.

This whole catastrophe is an outgrowth of the equally farcical “Overpasses for Obama’s Impeachment,” which is yet another Facebook-based campaign that believes it has some form of cosmic mandate because a handful of fools managed to scribble anti-Obama messages on bedsheets and hang them from highway overpasses. There’s a fair amount of commonality between the groups. We’ve not written about either of these drooling, amorphous things until now because we recognize that simply having a Facebook page with a thousand “likes” doesn’t mean a damned thing. But as the date gets closer and the story is picked up by more and more media outlets apparently hungering for something amusing to latch onto, we’re compelled to write about this mewling, adenoidal circus because they’re trying to worsen the traffic in our town.

Here’s a message straight to the heart of the trucker strike: traffic in this town is bad enough (in fact, it’s the absolute worst in the nation) and any affinity you may have had will be vaporized when you turn people’s typically hour-long commute into an interminable slog– or however long it takes to impound your rigs and seize your Commercial Drivers Licenses (CDLs). Second, if you were serious about your tactic of taking a major city hostage by way of clogging its major arteries, wouldn’t you have been better served by picking a city that actually has a transit system that isn’t in perpetual gridlock? Our highways degenerate into parking lots at THREE IN THE MORNING. Can’t you go back to Zanesville or Keokuk and instead terrorize THEM by hampering their ability for emergency services to save lives?

Something else is evidenced by this stunt, and that’s the majority of people really have no conception as to how Washington operates. Simple jokes about “does Washington work at all” aside, it’s as if people have no clue that this is a major metropolitan area just like any other, with the added factor that there are a lot more cops around. This isn’t Oz, there is no great and powerful wizard behind a curtain and you aren’t touched with some form of divine power just by existing in this point of the universe. Legitimate strikes conducted by actual workers have figured this out long ago– the most poignant example being the stirring example of the International Longshore and Warehouse Union routinely striking and shutting down ports in protest of the illegal invasion and occupation of Iraq and in support of the Occupy movement.

Let’s tackle this mess from a practical standpoint: the beltway is four lanes in each direction and sixty-four miles in circumference. Given that the typical eighteen wheeler is sixty feet long, this would take forty five thousand and fifty six trucks to fill up all eight lanes of the beltway. Just how exactly are they supposed to trek the nine miles from the beltway to the Capitol itself to make these “arrests?” What are they going to slow down? The Maryland side of the beltway? The Virginia side? Which direction? Perhaps they’re merely ignorant of the fact that there are countless numbers of exits that people can use to get on the beltway if someone decides to snarl traffic. Who knows? Come October 14, this will be a humorous footnote to this year’s lackluster roster of protests.

We’re ashamed this also merits any amount of words in this piece, but let’s underscore it: this is not a “leftist” or “progressive” or “worker” related event. This event germinated in the bowels of the “patriot radio” crowd and the militia movement– both so intensely right wing they recently added disgraced Pennsylvania police chief Mark “Fuck You Libtards” Kessler to their ranks.

The irony of the entire event is that most of the truckers taking part are non-union, which means they’ll be losing time and money in this foolish escapade, and if they’re private drivers, they risk getting fired. With their rigs seized and CDLs suspended, how exactly are they supposed to find jobs? Well, if you’re a teabagger trucker, the solution is obvious: do as much stupid crap as you can, and when you get caught for breaking the law, blame Obama. Look, Obama didn’t suspend your CDL, Obama didn’t write you a ticket for reckless driving, Obama didn’t impound your rig, and Obama didn’t make you come to DC and ruin the commutes of millions of people to satisfy your infantile egos– that was your fault. Why not follow the advice of your own worn out slogans and take some personal responsibility for your own actions?

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Adam Kokesh: Portrait of an Attention Whore

Attention Whore Kokesh

Attention Whore Kokesh

 

The former member of a USMC PSYOPS unit and self-aggrandizing blowhard Adam Kotexkesh has planned a little stroll for gun nuts on July Fourth.

On the morning of July 4, 2013, Independence Day, we will muster at the National Cemetery & at noon we will step off to march across the Memorial Bridge, down Independence Avenue, around the Capitol, the Supreme Court, & the White House, then peacefully return to Virginia across the Memorial Bridge. This is an act of civil disobedience, not a permitted event. We will march with rifles loaded & slung across our backs to put the government on notice that we will not be intimidated & cower in submission to tyranny. We are marching to mark the high water mark of government & to turn the tide. This will be a non-violent event, unless the government chooses to make it violent. Should we meet physical resistance, we will peacefully turn back, having shown that free people are not welcome in Washington, & returning with the resolve that the politicians, bureaucrats, & enforcers of the federal government will not be welcome in the land of the free.

There’s a remote chance that there will be violence as there has been from government before, and I think it should be clear that if anyone involved in this event is approached respectfully by agents of the state, they will submit to arrest without resisting. We are truly saying in the SUBTLEST way possible that we would rather die on our feet than live on our knees.

Take if you will the case of Barrett Brown. Brown has been sitting in federal prison without a trial for almost a year at this point, for making threats on youtube against an FBI agent. Brown made these remarks while he was going through heroin withdrawal, but his incarceration happened without delay. Kokesh, however, has stated on the Alex Jones show (?!) that he considers this event to be an “armed revolt against the government.”

If Kokesh does not– at the very least– get a visit from some manner of law enforcement agency (and apparently, he lives right down the road from the headquarters of the FBI, so it’s not too far of a drive) he is every bit as much of a paid agent provocateur as Hal Turner was.

No, no– think about this. All of Kokesh’s stunts involve a large number of people getting arrested. Remember when he tried to sell lemonade on the national mall? The law he violated is in place to keep shitty multinational corporations like McDonalds from setting up a burger stand in the center of “America’s Lawn.” Those people he duped into standing up for libertarian capitalist exploitation of the commons? All arrested– except for him. Remember his “dance party” at the Jefferson Memorial? He got arrested as well as a bunch of other people for violating… a fire code.

This latest stunt is most likely the last, dying gasp of an agent provocateur who’s heard the buzz that his handlers are considering cutting his paycheck. Look, regardless if you are for or against open or concealed carry, the law is very clear: DC law explicitly forbids either within its boundaries, federal law explicitly forbids either on all of its property, Arlington National Cemetery forbids both (unless you’re part of an official funeral and it’s part of your full dress uniform, but we strongly doubt a gaggle of paultards in ratty t-shirts and shorts carrying a motley assortment of cobbled-together ARs and AKs are anybody’s uniform outside of whiny Halo fanboys whose mothers won’t bring them more chocolate milk, but we digress) and the border between DC and Virginia actually exists immediately where the asphalt ends and the bridge begins. Even if this cadre of hilariously inept goons manages to assemble outside of DC without any incident, all access to DC over that bridge during the fourth of July is controlled by checkpoints where all sorts of contraband are seized from tourists attempting to enter the District– and where, incidentally, I was detained and interrogated by National Parks police for a few minutes because I happened to have a sprig of mugwort tied around my backpack handle.

We’ve covered one of these stupid open carry rallies before. Kokesh’s plan makes that event seem level-headed and sanely managed, even though the elder event was organized by people who advocated throwing bricks through the office windows of their members of congress. Of course, those folks don’t really seem to like Kokesh’s plan. Oh, what the hell, they’re going BALLISTIC over it (OH GOD THAT WAS A HORRIBLE PUN)


“I recall Kokesh from his days with Iraq Veterans Against the War (IVAW), an offshoot of John Kerry’s Vietnam Veterans Against the War (VVAW), his ceaseless promotion of Adam Kokesh, and most of all, the crazed stare of the truly mad. My guess is that if he’s pushing an armed march on D.C., it is because he’s hoping to immediately surrender as soon as he hits police lines (There is no way he’ll be carrying a gun himself), and is counting on one of the hotheads he brings with him will starting a shoot war with poorly-trained Metro police units and trigger-happy federal agents armed with automatic weapons.”

Look, I don’t think that Kokesh is part of some bizarre Hollywood-esque fantasy that’s part of a plan to slaughter profoundly stupid gun owners in public in front of families with small children– that’s paranoid jibber-jabber. It is, however, standard operating procedure for law enforcement to use informants and provocateurs to entrap other people without having to actually commit the crime of entrapment.

We’ve mocked the hyperbolic rhetoric of the gun-nut crowd to no end here, so don’t take this as some sort of massive political shift– we’re highlighting Kokesh because he’s been the beneficary of a wall of silence. Any time anyone on the left has attempted to complain about his revolting behavior, they’ve been shouted down or ignored. Remember when Kokesh was kicked out of the IVAW house? What about the numerous times he’s conducted fawning, softball interviews with Kevin Deanna– the white supremacist founder of Youth for Western Civilization? If there was any response, it usually consisted of “YUR JEST A ILLOOMINATY SOCK PUPPET” or other barely coherent invective.

Now he’s going to collect a group of easily impressionable, easily terrified gun owners and throw them in front of a sea of well trained, highly disciplined and heavily armed police. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

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Filed under extremism, Politics, Snitches, Tea Parties, Uncategorized

THE HEIMBACH MANEUVER

The latest neo-nazi boyscout club that thinks it’s the last, best hope for white civilization. As always, if you can put names to faces, drop us a line!

 

Hey, we’re still around. Schooling, the demands of actually working for a living and the sudden onset of this thing called a “social life” have forced a re-prioritization of things in all of our lives.

Look, we’ve already made it abundantly clear why exactly we don’t go to May Day shindigs in DC anymore— but this time, we’re mature enough to admit that we missed out. May First saw the usual gaggle of non-profits doing their usual things and the local anarchists doing their own things; other places have covered this well enough without us to add our opinions. We cannot, however, let this… <i>thing</i>… go without comment. You see, there’s this piddly little hitler youth group at Towson University calling itself the White Student Union, lead by a wholly laughable creature named Matthew Heimbach. One People’s Project has profiled them quite nicely. Heimbach and his failure brigade showed up in front of the White House, and this happened:

This video by Russia Today that captures the entire incident. Fast forward to 1:14 to see Heimbach’s crappy teabagger flag get ripped off its pole and Heimbach explode in impotent, puerile rage. A bunch of nazis get their asses kicked, they lose their flags and a fun time was had by all Antifa. End of the story, right? BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! We’ve stumbled upon an after-action report by someone named “Shotgun“– a man so utterly dispossessed of any semblance of literary ability, it is a wonder that the letters on the screen did not strangle him outright.

Shotgun is most likely Scott Terry: The guy who stood up at CPAC and talked about how great slavery was. He’s also ex-navy.

Well, helloooooo sailor…

As one the comments in his post pointed out, this is quite possibly the gayest thing we’ve ever read (not that we see anything wrong with the queer community— we don’t. Highlighting the inherent hypocrisy in extremist hate groups is a grand hobby of ours). It’s also the most (Unintentionally? Intentionally but hoping no one notices?) homoerotic way of spinning “We couldn’t muster more than 8 bigots to wave a confederate flag in front of the white house. They stole our flag, ripped it up and then beat us into a formless mass of bloody pulp.”

Hey, if *you* get a stiffy from this pasty, overweight, pock-marked Bill White impersonator with a bad haircut, who are we to judge?

Hey, if *you* get a stiffy from this pasty, overweight, pock-marked Bill White impersonator with a bad haircut, who are we to judge?

We submitted this piece to our collective and two writing droids started sparking and emitting blue smoke. One of our human writers had this to say before his brain started melting out of his ears:

“I couldn’t finish it. I read as far as I could before I threw up in my mouth a little bit.
“There were eight of us in all, including two women (a fact that burned my Southern honor).  ‘Dear God, I hope they stay protected’…”

Gwuhlb… sorry, just threw up in my mouth a little, again. I’m afraid I couldn’t get far enough to see where he does any actual reporting. I got
about four paragraphs into his pissing and moaning about his noble Southern roots and all that other balloon juice.

“ZOMG, there’s women in our group!”

Dickweed.”

Or, if you read his piece, it sounds more like this:

Matthew Heimbach is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life…

Let’s give this the MST3K treatment, shall we?

On Flags, Signs, Heroes, and Fist Fights
May 3, 2013

~ But God chose the foolish things of the world, to shame the wise;  He chose the weak things, to shame the strong.  God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things…the things that are not, to nullify the things that are! ~

I looked out and caught a glimpse of an army of communists moving our way.  Their red banners caught in the fading light and their distant chants echoed across the park.  “Here they come!” I cried, and looked over at Heimbach, who gave the nod.  We walked out to meet them.

I did more crying than I’m willing to admit, really.

The ocean of scorn he swam on,

weak and tried, used and worn,

tossed a sea of revalry

to darken the light of morn.

“To start yon heroic missive of the proud Aryan warrior’s heroic act of violently assaulting a woman in front of police and getting away with it scot-free, here’s some crappy poetry! Hey! That rhymed! SEE?! POETIC GOLDMINE”

There were eight of us in all, including two women (a fact that burned my Southern honor).  “Dear God, I hope they stay protected”.

“I was going to be too busy cowering in mortal terror for my life to ensure anybody else’s safety because that bastard Heimbach decided to drag us out on this fool’s errand. ‘Join the white student union’ he said. ‘Defend white people’ he said. Here I am about to get my pasty white ass beaten because I’m singing racist songs and waving a confederate battle flag in front of a gigantic group of immigrant-rights activists on International Workers’ Day with only a few minority police to defend me. Fucking Heimbach and his god complex. Why do I get roped into these sorts of things? Where is that pompous dick? Striking poses for non-existent cameras? Like we know anyone who’s even a fraction of what Riefenstahl was.”

In saner days, when men petitioned God for their grievances instead of chanting at their fellows, women wouldn’t have felt compelled to attend these sorts of events; yet, such is our brave new democracy that the fairer sex frequently add their voices to prayer choruses in hopes of convincing mass-man to tolerate the put-upon factions of society.  They, along with the men, pick up flags, draw up signs, and walk out into public to take part in a democratic liturgy.

“THERE IS NO KITCHEN HERE! WHY ARE THERE WOMENFOLK PRESENT IN YONDER BATTLEFIELD OF MANLY MALE HONOUR AND RIPPLING MALE MASCULINITY AND MUSCULAR MANLY MALENESS? WHO DEIGNED TO PERMIT YON DAMSELS TO ABDICATE THEIR FEMININE DUTIES AT THE HOMESTEAD AND SULLY THEIR DELICATE AND FRAGILE AND WEAK AND SUBMISSIVE NATURES WITH THE DUTIES OF HONORABLE MANLY STATECRAFT?!”

We Southerners are at a weakness here, because, despite a lingering sense of the tragic (passed on to us in the folk wisdom of our grandparents),

“Translation: We lost and we still can’t get over it.”

and despite a healthy respect for the fallen nature of man,

“Well, white men at least. And white women in hoop skirts.”

nevertheless, at times, we’re capable of a startling sense of naivete’ towards our fellows, accompanied by a confused sense of optimism.  If the sun is shining, the breeze blowing, and the sweet smells of early spring drifting through the air, how could there be evil afoot?  Why usher our women off to the side when we’re only interested in rational debate and interesting conversation?

“All we were doing was waving the confederate battle flag and the flag of apartheid South Africa during a massive demonstration for immigrant rights, using confrontational language and organizing behind a guy who associates with violent white supremacists and who repeatedly makes threats about ‘armed patrols’…  what could possibly go wrong?”

Who can box the shining sun,

put her to ground for everyone

to see and stare and touch her rays

till all her fires turn to grays?

“I completely lost my train of thought here, so have more shitty poetry.”

When one is in the presence of Matthew Heimbach, one is in the presence of a singularly magnanimous individual,

BLURGHB

the likes of whom, it’s very likely, does not exist anywhere else in the world.

BLAAARRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGHHHHHH

Who else in all of America is able to stand in the face of the demonic pressures he endures on a daily basis?

HURRGRGRGRGRGGRHHAHHABABBBBBBLLLLLLAAAAAAAGAGHHHHHHHhhhhhhh….. ok, I think that’s it… I haven’t had much else to eat today…

Our enemy uses lies and insults instead of swords and arrows, but they hurt all the more

You ever been shot in the face with a bad word? “I used to be an adventurer like you, until I took a poorly worded internet forum insult to the knee.” Mental note: Bring real swords and arrows next time.

– they’re able to rip a part families and torture a man’s psyche until all convictions are ripped away,

Yeah, damn those “FACTS.” Your parents don’t want anything to do with you because they found out you’re a conniving, race-hating, goose-stepping Oswald Mosley clones? ITS THE COMMIES FAULT AND THEIR LLLIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

leaving a husk; a burned out soul with nothing left to offer.  And yet, Heimbach, never flinching, walks out to meet them.

So he’s still a burned out, empty husk of a man with no prospects and nothing to offer the world around him. No wonder you think he’s not flinching, he’s incapable of feeling human emotions. Better keep him away from the bleach.

Yes, maybe somewhere in Europe, perhaps with the Golden Dawn activists or with the French Identity movement, there is a man with similar fortitude.

You mean a child rapist, a torturer or a convicted murderer?

But whomever would make this argument must remember that the situations in these countries are very different; the political climate is more amenable there, than here.  Would their bravest dare brave the pressures of an American nationalist?   We can only hope, though my naive Southern optimism does little to convince me of it.

translation: “Newsflash you stupid cocks: NAZIS DON’T LIKE BORING ORGANIZATIONS. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: THE GOLDEN DAWN IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you’re an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR.

Flailing and slinging in the ocean of slime

The hero is cast down, slick with the grime,

Heaving and spitting, trapped in the mire

He moves inch by inch with disciplined time.

Oh look, more shitty poetry. Running out of steam again, eh sailor?

Having arranged ourselves in a line, to halt the progress of this 400 man army, the 8 of us stood silent, lost in our thoughts, as we watched them approach.  We began exchanging jokes and humorous comments, but I suspect they were masking the sense of impending evil we all felt.

“The giant puddle of our own urine we were standing in probably gave us away. Mental note: The true aryan warrior wears Depends.”

Another funny thing about Southerners – when evil is coming, no matter how much we may feel it wrenching our guts, a stronger impulse rises in turn:

Brew moonshine? Drink antifreeze? Cook meth in motel rooms? Commit incest?

stubbornness.  A stubborn resolve not to yield; a resolve to endure under the coming pressure.

“THEY GON’ GIT MAH SLIM JIMS AN’ MOUNTAIN DEW WHEN THEY PRY MUH COLD, MEATY, SAUSAGE-SHAPED FINGERS OFF OF THEM”

And endure we did.  As the fading rays of sunlight disappeared behind the D.C. skyscrapers

THERE ARENT ANY SKYSCRAPERS IN DC. NOTHING IS HIGHER THAN THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT AND THE BUILDINGS CAN’T BE ANY TALLER THAN THE STREET IS WIDE. SECOND GRADERS KNOW THIS. TWO GODDAMNED SECONDS OF GOOGLING WILL TELL YOU THIS.

, the army collided with us and all hell broke loose.

“We got our asses kicked”

The tempest of blackness;

blowing, blowing!

All form is lost!

All but the cries of anguished, raving, lunatics…

JESUS CHRIST HOW MUCH SHITTY POETRY CAN YOU WRITE?! You’re not even approaching the quality of William Peirce (whose Turner Diaries was so badly written it was physically painful to attempt to read, but we digress)

My friend Shane Long, of the Maryland League of the South, attended Heimbach’s counter-protest, and brought with him a confederate battle flag.  No more offensive sign could have been found with which to oppose the unwashed animals descending on us.  In one symbol, all of the heroism, righteousness, and universal good ever accomplished by Christendom, all of our art, all of our beauty, is boiled into a concentrated form of light, which the heathens cannot bear to look upon.

“Hey, look, all we’re saying is that you sub-human non-whites need to be owned like pieces of farm machinery. How dare you be offended!”

We clashed with the protestors, and some of them attacked Shane.  They had to get that flag.  In a flurry of fists and violence, I lost sight of both Shane and the flag, but a moment later, amidst the leering, screaming crowd, I saw the symbol rise up.  Shane lifted it proudly through the muck.  He still held it!  Our line remained unbroken!

Torn in half, and no mention of Heimbach being caught completely unprepared and unawares when HIS flag was ripped right off its flagpole. Nice selective editing, you glue-huffing fool.

A party of 8, had stopped the army dead in its tracks.

The cloud of filth, swirls and cries

with untimely form its devil belies,

when up from the black, a sunbeam catches,

A symbol of hope, rising from blackness…

Delusional, much? Not even the greek fascist assholes can live up to the “300” image– and eight neckbeards are the pinnacle of the white race? Hitler wouldn’t use you even for his backup bedpan division.

They rushed Shane again, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw them lighting the battle flag on fire.  They grabbed it and pulled it into their throng.  But, Shane didn’t let go – he followed them in, fists swinging, and giving off a frightful cry!  Yes, dear readers, the infamous and feared rebel yell was heard in Washington D.C. this day; let the devil take note!

It sounded like this: “OH GOD OH GOD PLEASE NO THAT COST ME MY WEEKS ALLOWANCE OH MERCY OH PLEASE NO I USED MY DADS CREDIT CARD HES GONNA BE SO MAD”

Forced to the ground by armed police, Shane fell back, and the crowd dispersed, with the battle flag unfortunately out of  his possession.  His efforts, though, made a hole in the crowd large enough for me to see a small patch of red and blue underneath their filthy sneakers.  I dove for it, blocking the wild punches and kicks as best I could, and striking back with all the rage of an awakened Saxon (I knocked a fat, blaspheming jewess to the ground, a fact which I’d normally be ashamed of, but on this occasion, it gave a great deal of satisfaction).

“I squealed like a stuck pig and tried to save my Made-In-China sheet of nylon, and my I BEAT UP A WOMAN AND I AM PROUD OF IT. HOW YOU LIKE MY SOUTHERN HONOR NOW, HUH!? THATS HOW WE DO IN THE SOUTH! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAWWWWW”

We would like to apologize for implanting the image of this man's "awakened Saxon" in your head. Gross.

We would like to apologize for implanting the image of this man’s “awakened Saxon” in your head. Gross.

 

I was quickly swamped, and began taking hits from all sides.

“Hey! All I was doing was BEATING A WOMAN– how could you get offended by that? Filthy savages! Women are made to be beaten! Says so in the bible!”

Just then, I felt a hand grab my shoulder and pull me out of the crowd.  It was Matthew Heimbach!  We stood, shoulder to shoulder, fighting off this army, until we too were grabbed by the police and forced back.  I looked down and, in my hand (and somewhat to my surprise) I held the Battle Flag.  Burned, soiled, but still ours!

I felt a patriotic surge in the front of my pants. Normally I have to pay someone in downtown Greenville for this, but I was getting this one for free!

I handed it off to Heimbach, as a police officer yanked me to the side.  Heimbach unfolded it.  I managed to shake clear of the ruckus, and grabbed the other side of the flag.  We held it aloft, together, and at the tops of our voices, began to sing an old, familiar cadence…

PLEASE DONT HURT US“?

“Ohhhhh I…wish I was in the land of cotton … old times there are not forgotten, look away…. look away…look away…Dixieland…”

“Hey, I know what’s going to smooth this situation over! Let’s sing an old racist battle song while they’re tearing our flags up, setting them on fire, tying them to bicycles and riding away with them!”

Shane was on the ground, being restrained by the police, but we looked over and noticed that even he, in his incapacitated state, was singing along with us!

“In Dixie land I’ll take my stand…I’ll live and die, in Dixie!!”

What’s the verse about getting your asses kicked in the heart of the Union?

Thus was the South, and the conservative cause acquitted “

The guilty charges of slavery, genocide and being incredibly poor losers still stand, though.

– with song and bitter defiance. “

That’s your legal strategy? If you were an attorney in traffic court, your client would have been lucky to escape with the death penalty.

The army was scattered and defeated.  We left in high spirits.  (Shane, we were assured by the police, would not be charged with any crime, and was to be released at a strategic and safe time and location).  So, after re-gaining Shane into our company, we retired to celebrate our victory.

“Hopelessly outnumbered, out-strategized and beaten into a bloody pulp with one of our flags being pulled apart like fresh bread and used to sop up the oil on one of our enemies’ bikes, but I got to violently assault a woman in front of cops and completely get away with it, so it was a COMPLETE AND TOTAL VICTORY!”

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